Goodbye Jonathon
You named me Jonathon. I slouch into my couch. I turn on the TV with a sense of self-loathing. It beeps like a gameboy when I turn it on. The picture is crisp. The definition is high. The sound is surround. This TV cost me a thousand fucking dollars. I just lost my job, a position which I held for 7 months. A new record. Had I known was going to happen would have surely prevented me from allowing myself such an indulgence. I've always been prone to indulgence and to some degree I've made peace with that. I cultivate it. I' wonder if I stray into self-indulgence. I wonder if there's any other kind. I see friends on movie theatre screens. I see myself walking through the background of a music video. I see youtube confessionals and meticulously designed myspace pages and it forces me to wonder further, is there anything so wrong wtih self indulgence? In this town it's rewarded. So fuck it. I gotta be me. What else can I be but what I am? I wanna live, not merely survive. I'll never give up this dream of life which keeps me alive. I gotta be me. I gotta be free. Thank you Sammy. The fact that Wayne Brady keeps a life sized statue of yourself in his living room does not detract from your legend. You played a Jewish Priest who drives a Ferrari in Cannonball Run, we won't forget that. The world will not forget.
I flip mindlessly through the channels.
Everywhere I look I see Gary Busey.
I flip through the channels and see my childhood school in the background of a newscast. I wonder if there's been a bombing or a shooting. In that tight ass neighborhood I wouldn't be surprised to see someone snap. I'm wrong they're doing a story on Crazy Robertson.
I flip mindlessly through the channels.
Everywhere I look I see Gary Busey.
I flip through the channels and see my childhood school in the background of a newscast. I wonder if there's been a bombing or a shooting. In that tight ass neighborhood I wouldn't be surprised to see someone snap. I'm wrong they're doing a story on Crazy Robertson.
I've known Crazy Robertson since I was 5 years old and started going to Horace Mann Elementary. Every day we'd walk out of school and walk down Robertson Blvd. To The Robertson Market to buy candy and Gatorade. Every day we would see Crazy Robertson, with a boombox perched on one shoulder, spinning and dancing on his rollerskates. He was usually dressed head to toe in black and often wore a black veil. I must admit that as a 5 year old I was quite scared of this man. By the age of seven I was quite used to him and used to dance as I walked past him on the way to the Robertson Market to buy candy and Gatorade. Now, twenty years has gone by and Crazy Robertson has been the inspiration for a whole clothing line, sold in the new chi-chi markets that line the Robertson Boulevard sidewalk upon which he sleeps. But he's famous. Some would argue that nothing else matters.
My stomach rumbles. I make a sandwich. It's okay but the lettuce has wilted and the bread has grown stale. I smoke a cigarette. I smoke another. Jesus H Fuck it's hot. My roomate would say It's hot as balls but I don't really care for the image that conjures. I need a Vitamin water. I drink three of them a day. It's starting to dawn on me how much money I must spend on this watered down gatorade. I guess some things never change. But maybe some things have to change. Maybe I have to start buying powdered Kool-Aid. Maybe we all have to start buying powdered Kool-Aid.
I change the channel.
I change the channel.
I change the channel.
I change the channel.
I change the channel.
It doesn't matter what channel I watch because in the end I'm still the one watching it.
This is my life. The couches and TVs may change but my life will always be the same.
My name was Jonathon. I'm sorry for everything. Goodbye.
My stomach rumbles. I make a sandwich. It's okay but the lettuce has wilted and the bread has grown stale. I smoke a cigarette. I smoke another. Jesus H Fuck it's hot. My roomate would say It's hot as balls but I don't really care for the image that conjures. I need a Vitamin water. I drink three of them a day. It's starting to dawn on me how much money I must spend on this watered down gatorade. I guess some things never change. But maybe some things have to change. Maybe I have to start buying powdered Kool-Aid. Maybe we all have to start buying powdered Kool-Aid.
I change the channel.
I change the channel.
I change the channel.
I change the channel.
I change the channel.
It doesn't matter what channel I watch because in the end I'm still the one watching it.
This is my life. The couches and TVs may change but my life will always be the same.
My name was Jonathon. I'm sorry for everything. Goodbye.
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