I have to be drunk to eat something that looks like a clitoris.

It was served nestled atop a shiny spiky black sea urchin shell, a fleshy Orange Julius hue, slimy and gelatinous. The spiced plum wine made eating it feel natural. I am not sure if it was delicious, although I expressed such to my generous hostess, who I think might be a hundred-aire.

Every so often she takes me on a culinary odyssey where she appears to speak Japanese and know the staff and get treated all special. The drinks are never empty and she orders a lot of stuff thats not on the menu. Im pretty sure we get really loud cause my laugh blares and claps and the people sitting next to us usually look irritated.

"Would love to dine out as I feel I am making progress toward curing you of sobriety," the invitation read.