I just caught my mind trying to do a beauty on me, it created an argument between a friend and myself. I started to play it out in my head and our pretend argument began abusive. I was experiencing those feeling physically and mentally in the moment, it was reality. This was pure ego at work reacting to the fact I have rang them twice and they haven't called back, obviously a blow to it's never ending search for existence.

My mind is a little bugger sometimes creating this monster but I had a good talk to it. I remarked we could work so well together if you stopped trying to sabotage my connection with my heart, together we can be so strong, Drop who you think I am

I've been working on a project for some time now, one I call 'Ego Soul Separation' which in its basic form is a tool to be aware of when your mind is pushing you off the path of whatever is in your heart.

Tonight I felt albeit fleetingly what it is like, possible, when the Ego represents the Soul, an emergence of the two a unison a balance, both working as one which is representative of pure unconditional love, the balance some might call God, Vishnu, Bhudda etc which I call the universe and saw at five in it's never ending entirity without having to take acid! I never had to, it just happened.

People throughout my life who have taken acid and seen the whole thing, the big picture find difficulty expressing that experience such as I, because it's well beyond language, however they've communicated the same feeling which has substantiated what I saw at five.

My experience has also been substantiated by people who have had the same happening without taking acid. They describe as best they can exactly what I saw, in the the same eloquence as Bill Hicks speech about 'Life is a roller coaster'. It's the same shit, I'm sure LSD and such natural trips can be a short circuit, although I'm not advocating everyone to throw a tab down their throat (Or am I? Have to think more about that one)

Once you've seen the truth it makes it very difficult to fit into the human illusion. The experience of the oneness makes it so apparent that the illusion is so laughable in the perfect symmetry and pure love of the universe. The way that ludicrous collective human energy believes it's above it all, manipulates for personal gain, competes for shiny 'things', controls by Religion all historically felled by ruthless greed. It's become a huge self validating energy that represents the illusionary cumulative human ego which is now beginning to show at last, it's ever gaping gaps.

It really does feel there will be point where the balance changes in the not too distant future, more of us are working as one and have easy methods of communicating with each other, read the tweets coming out of Iran for example. People not press, it's a long shot but perhaps the press will communicate news about what we think is better for us, rather than what our governments tell them to tell us how to live thus tying to trap all into the illusion.

For example The Daily Telegraph have done a sterling job in exposing MP's expenses, hilarious stories for claims such as a Duck house to mortgages they haven't had for years. This has caused those guilty across the board in most parties reason to resign or make excuses about early retirement, probably with the money they've accrued throughout their Parliamentary career.

Equally I am astounded at what is happening in Iran at present, a peoples uprising against an old medieval demagogic set up utilising religion to control, people sre directly confronting the illusion working as one.

There was a fantastic piece of footage on the news when one of the Iranian policemen crashes his motorbike near the raging crowd. His face was white as he got up ready to be sliced up by the protesters They had just witnessed or been injured by gangs of policeman just like him on motorbikes attacking them with baseball bats. A beautiful moment occurred, a group of men surrounded the policeman and led him to safety, some saying don't touch this man, it will achieve nothing. The crowd turned their rage back again, not on the human but the system, the illusion, another experience that will be forever branded in my mind as a defining moment such as the napalmed burning girl running screaming from her wiped out village.

A positive contrast for me, comparing those particular embedded memories, the Iran retention is obviously far more positive than the burning girl image. Even though I believe the burning girl footage stopped a war, the Iranian image isn't at all brutal yet somehow equally defining. Perhaps a representation of how there is positive change afoot.

Recently the news has been full of new mobile phone footage from the Bank of England protests, when a Policeman viciously slaps a woman across the face then smashes her to the ground with his baton, this has been transmitted by the news with views from the people in the front of the crowd. Some nights ago the BBC transmitted footage filmed from the back of the crowd which showed a sea of outstretched arms holding mobiles phones shooting the same incident. Then the newsreader said something to the effect of for years the police have been filming the crowds, now the crowds are filming them. Was this the British Broadcasting Company? I searched for every conspiracy angle as to why the voice of England was in essence speaking honestly for the people. I couldn't find one, answers on a post card please, still stunned.

I'm confident we're going to see some global positive change, withal I foresee some un-necessary collateral damage during the process. However, perhaps damage limitation if we all act like that group of Iranian people who showed unconditional love to a fellow human being.