Robert Moses and Mussolini had a few things in common, not least was a love for sun and sand. You don't have to salute either guy to enjoy the recreational opportunities they created in NYC or Italy. Which brings me to the mysterious and fast growing sport of "racchettoni" or beach tennis. Like NY's stickball back in the day, racchettoni is a sport that emerged from the people themselves who constructed its rules and protocol with no official sanction. But unlike stickball which never left its gritty Brooklyn womb, beach tennis has already sailed from the working class Adriatic beaches of Ravenna, Ancona and Rimini for the more exotic locales of Brazil and South Florida. This is great but a little threatening since mass popularity often distorts the charm and purity of cultural endeavors. That's right, you heard me, racchettoni is an art form.

The game is played on the sand, with a lower net than volleyball and a smaller court. Equipment entails a paddle type racquet and a low compression tennis ball. Scoring is the same as tennis except that at forty all the next point wins the game. Also, one is allowed only one serve and lets are played; there are no deuce or ad courts, you can serve anywhere you want. Obviously, all shots are played on the fly and points resemble doubles tennis when both teams are near the net hitting wicked volleys at one another or trying to sneak in a lob. The game is played extremely fast compared to tennis or volleyball and is fun to watch as well as play. I can honestly say I've never had more fun playing any other sport in my life. The game owns me now and I dream of a local court with passionate fellow enthusiasts pairing up to play. Time to call the mayor and remind him of all the Italians down in Midland Beach; there is an election coming up and Mikey likes to win with the same percentage as Kim Jong-il.

Sadly, I've already heard of mutations where regulation tennis racquets are used with a standard height volleyball net. This is an outrage and dismisses the sport's Italian pioneers who already did the dirty work for us. Please, don't spit in their sweaty faces. Stickball can't be played with a baseball bat and racchettoni can't be played with a tennis racquet... well maybe an old Wilson Jack Kramer cut down to size but really now. Perhaps food is a good guide for what happens when best intentions or laziness are applied to local customs taken abroad. Sure, I just love the Spaghetti Bolognaise one finds in London or the Pad Thai of Dallas... I get the squirts just thinking about it. Respect the game or leave it alone, commercial sponsors I'm talking to you. Thankfully, among the true players, the Romagna Coast is universally recognized as the birthplace of beach tennis.

Fuck Il Duce and The Power Broker... long live racchettoni!