This is for Duggy, Davo, Brian, Paul and Jim: thank you good friends, kind men


Beginning any writing of merit with dialogue is usually unwise.

Exceptions may be for extraordinarily fine dialogue or deeply insightful observations. And this mess claims to be neither. But the lady inspecting my luggage said some funny things.

"No condoms at least." She had my Dopp kit in hand.

"No ma'am, no condoms. I had a vascetomy 27 years ago and I wasn't really counting on getting laid here anyhow."

"Be a very bad idea," she said, although she was smiling just barely enough to be seen as a smile. Later, I learned she was the head nurse. Very nice woman, although all the other 'guests' feared her. And I already knew that the 'guests' were strictly forbidden from consorting with one another's private parts.

"And what are these?" She was dangling my red and black Everlast trainers.

"Those are boxing gloves, ma'am. Training gloves."

"Planning on hitting someone?

"

"Not with gloves on, no ma'am." Then I felt like an ass. "No ma'am, I'm not planning on hitting anyone at all. They're just for exercise. On the bag, you know, in the gym."

"Don't let anyone else use them. Not even with latex," she said,and she was wearing latex gloves as she spoke.

"I hadn't planned on it, no ma'am."

"No books or magazines, huh?"

"No ma'am. I pretty much know the rules.I've been here before."

"But here you are again," she said. And she genuinely grinned. "So maybe you don't know all that much, do you?"

"No ma'am, I don't reckon I do."

She said, "You seem like an educated man and I wonder why you talk the way you do."

I said, "I guess it's just the way I talk."

She dropped my Dopp kit and peeled her gloves off before she left. She was a pretty woman, but it was easy to see she'd been damaged. She said, "Keep lying and you'll stay sick. Start telling the truth and you might get better. And quit looking down women's shirts."

"Well, no ma'am, I don't see very well and I was trying to read your--"

"Start telling the truth and you might get better." And then she left me in my room. It was a very nice room. So I sat on the bed for a while, but I started crying. Cried until I remembered how nice her tits had looked.

Then I went outside to smoke and began to meet the 'guests.'


[In 2 We'll meet them and think about heroin and alcohol. Stay tuned.]