Just Tits
Some of you may remember an article I published awhile back about my five favorite westerns. In discussing The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, I mentioned how I longed for an alternate happy ending, one where John Wayne settles down with a Mexican lady and has lots of kids.A Mexican lady with big tits.
Then I cross posted the same article over on my blog West Of The West. Now the neat thing about a wordpress blog is you get some free tools that allow you to track how many people or spambots visit your blog, what they are clicking on and how they find you. You people here on The Brink know what I write about. Bullshit mostly involving guns, politics, music... Vouch for me now, I'm not a pornographer by any streatch of the imagination right?
After I post the aforementioned article on my aforementioned blog I notice a healthy uptick on my blogstats. I went from four or five views a day to fifty or so. And they are all reading about my favorite westerns or the Mission Express or Emmylou Harris or California's pot laws. But here's the thing almost every visitor to my blog since Feb. 4th, 2009 has arrived via some type of "tits" search.
Google search terms like:
Tits
titties
big tits
marijuana titties
Stephanie's big tits
Swarzeneggar, "marijuana titties"
really, big, tits
On and on. It got so bad, I felt I needed a disclaimer of some kind. SORRY, NO TITS HERE. My blogstats skyrocketed to triple digits for the first time ever. I was glad to see the traffic but imagined my average reader seeing my article about the Westside water crisis come up and saying "Oh not that bastard again" before clicking to the next google hit for "big, latino, tits"
This all got me to thinking what if some of the great writers of the past had blogs before they got famous. What would their blogstats look like?
REACTIONSAscending | Descending
Friday, 02 October 2009
B, pal Reno:
This is twelve kinds of funny. I agree with you in eighty-seven ways: this world is crippiled but cripplingly funny wacko fuckwad nuts.[There's a slight chance here that I gerunded that last adjective properly.)Gang war -- the Crips vs. the Nads.
And -- bearing in mind that I'm a genius mathematical intellect and a writer never to be forgotten by civilized mankind -- I have to agree with you: writing about (quoting you) "Bullshit mostly involving guns, politics, music" is the sport of Kings. On the other hand, Paul Westerberg wrote "we will inherit..." The great writers of the past would write shit just as dumb as what I do. And probably be just as confused as I am about how to make this particular ethereal magic work. People are pretty dumb, even the geniuses. And if they're from the South, they can't hardly talk right no way.
If they're from Southern California, they carry stolen Gideon bibles and mighty pistols. If they're stupid crackers (ask Hagen if they are) they carry shotguns and lay down in the right spot in the woods and eliminate the prey real easy-like. Then slip away. Crackers are plenty used to the Eastern Forest, a surprising amount of which remains.
The question about blogs was provoking. ('Thought-provoking' is an expression for undergraduates.) They, the best writers, probably would have avoided them, I suspect, in order to address very directly true friends.
But fuck them. They're all dead and gone. Miz Reno says to say hello to you. She's eating grapes in green cotton underpants and watching some television show which confuses me. And thanks for the loan (even if it was just for my eyeballs). She'll be home soon.
Guy
This is twelve kinds of funny. I agree with you in eighty-seven ways: this world is crippiled but cripplingly funny wacko fuckwad nuts.[There's a slight chance here that I gerunded that last adjective properly.)Gang war -- the Crips vs. the Nads.
And -- bearing in mind that I'm a genius mathematical intellect and a writer never to be forgotten by civilized mankind -- I have to agree with you: writing about (quoting you) "Bullshit mostly involving guns, politics, music" is the sport of Kings. On the other hand, Paul Westerberg wrote "we will inherit..." The great writers of the past would write shit just as dumb as what I do. And probably be just as confused as I am about how to make this particular ethereal magic work. People are pretty dumb, even the geniuses. And if they're from the South, they can't hardly talk right no way.
If they're from Southern California, they carry stolen Gideon bibles and mighty pistols. If they're stupid crackers (ask Hagen if they are) they carry shotguns and lay down in the right spot in the woods and eliminate the prey real easy-like. Then slip away. Crackers are plenty used to the Eastern Forest, a surprising amount of which remains.
The question about blogs was provoking. ('Thought-provoking' is an expression for undergraduates.) They, the best writers, probably would have avoided them, I suspect, in order to address very directly true friends.
But fuck them. They're all dead and gone. Miz Reno says to say hello to you. She's eating grapes in green cotton underpants and watching some television show which confuses me. And thanks for the loan (even if it was just for my eyeballs). She'll be home soon.
Guy
Monday, 05 October 2009
Ah my poor blog. People are now sending me links to help me get more hits my favorite so far:
http://danesforpaul.wordpress.com/2008/02/03/boobs-for-paul/
Hey Guy I met up with Davo in San Francisco Friday. He's got some good pictures. Also met up with my pals from the Emmylou Harris fansite and they all loved your story.
http://danesforpaul.wordpress.com/2008/02/03/boobs-for-paul/
Hey Guy I met up with Davo in San Francisco Friday. He's got some good pictures. Also met up with my pals from the Emmylou Harris fansite and they all loved your story.
Monday, 05 October 2009
yes, great to meet the sepulvada's in the flesh and they let us join them for a fantastic start of a great weekend of music. just back from a long weekend of moving around with a constant backpack tote...now to take a look and see if any of those pics are worth sharing.
Tuesday, 06 October 2009
Dude, put some AdSense on your blog. You can make money off the fucktards.
Friday, 09 October 2009
And put some tits on the blog, too. Couldn't hurt. At least it'd balance out the Tedesco/Blaine double-whammy.
Friday, 09 October 2009
My blog has to stay clean Hagen. My mom reads it. If I so much as commit the occasional shit or fuck to page, she gets upset.
Friday, 09 October 2009
Well, don't call 'em tits. Give them a nice, clean name. And disguise them as Tommy Tedesco.
Thursday, 29 October 2009
Sex sells. Thanks for the tip. All of my articles are now going to have tits in them. Call me a whore, but I need the readership.
Your pal DD
Your pal DD
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