WHITE HOUSE: 2000 Trick-or Treaters beat on the White House door and were handed out treats by the residing family, a Mr. and Mrs. Obama. The Trick-or-Treaters were not too thrilled when they were handed stock certificates for General Motors. Six year old Bobby Washington (no relation) was quoted as saying, "I wanted a Hershey Bar, not this worthless piece if paper." He had apparently just accessed the latest stock quote on his cell phone. The Obama's were quick to retort, "If these little beggars want a handout they should have failed in big business."

TIME CHANGE: Did you change your clocks Sunday? I changed mine to 5pm and am now having a Jack Daniels for breakfast.

SAN JOSE: Southwest Air apologized for throwing bad mother, Pamela Root and her screaming 2 year old brat Adam off one of their flights because he wouldn't shut up long enough for passengers to hear the safety instructions. Bad move Southwest, the fear of lawsuits has made us all afraid to do the right thing.

MICOSIA CYPRUS: Just before a flight to Athens took off, a 28 year old Greek man ran to the back of the plane, opened the door and jumped down the slide. He disapeared over the fence and no one has seen him since. Could it be that young Adam Root was aboard?

HALLOWEEN WARNING: Authorities were concerned about sex offenders opening their doors to young Trick-or-Treaters this Halloween. Apparently they don't read the news, Michael Jackson is dead and Roman Polanski is being held in custody in Europe.

I RAN OVER A WHAT?: In Portland Oregon Edward Cespeda-Rodriguez was tooling down the road in his Mercedes when he dropped his cell phone. Now we all know that it's foolish to pull over and fiddle with your cell phone when you can just keep driving and eventually find it by taking your eyes off the road and spotting it on the floor, thereby saving valuable driving time. Well Edward did just that, but unfortunately a pedicab, its lights flashing away and being piloted by a young lady dressed up in a bright orange bunny costume got in his way. He claims he didn't see her. She says if Edward can't see a bright orange 6' bunny peddling a pedicab with flashing lights on it maybe he shouldn't be driving. She may have a point Edward.

THIS GUY IS A WALKING CLICHE: Rodney Bolton, 38 decided he wanted to shoplift a ferrit from a pet shop in Jacksonville Beach Florida. He stuffed it in his trousers. You can make up your own ending.

Until next time...