(Recently, MedLand Times Media gained access to interview Bo Obama, who is - besides being the presidential pooch - the founder and executive of Dogs Against Docking. Investigative Reporter, Jack Loft visited with Bo in the Oval Office where the Portuguese Water Dog sat at a desk in front of three windows. Faithful readers of MTM will remember Loft as the diminutive, Rubenesque little guy who fell in love with the magnificent Miss MedBud Mama - who is a 390 pound 6'9" landed Dutch immigrant transvestite who works as a medical marijuana advocate by day and a phone sex therapist by night - while on assignment).

As Loft entered the room he smiled at Bo who was busy trying to hold his eating utensils gracefully while devouring a 62 ounce piece of lightly grilled prime rib. As Loft shook Bo's paw he said while trying not to sound too surprised, "You have free reign in the Oval Office?"

Bo smiled graciously as he replied, "Is that surprising? Unlike some folk, I'm never into any mischief while I'm in here. So... what brings you here Jack?"

"Well, our inside sources have informed us that a new department is being formed and we'd like to get the scoop. Is it true that you'll head the new Civil Canine Service?"

"That's right Jack ol' buddy. I'm top dog now, although I have been since the inauguration, unless you listen to that heir to the Lassie fortune. Oh, I suppose those folk who claim to be my 'masters' might argue otherwise, but the fact is that so-called dog owners are often the owned, despite the fact they may not know it."

Suddenly Jack began looking around the room for the source of an unpleasant odor. Seeing what looked like a pile of excrement in the corner, Loft, somewhat taken aback, asked, "You're not house trained Bo?"

"Of course I am you burnt out patient! Why the hell should I bother with leaving my office when I can just have one of those old folk working for sub-minimum senior wage clean that crap up? Those old Boomers need something to do anyway."

Alarmed by the snarl in Bo's voice and his sudden change of demeanor, Jack timidly responded, "Of course Bo. I don't mean to offend."

"That's OK Jack ol' boy. Hey, do you want a hit, err... dose of this Purple Presidential Panacea? Clinton and his insignificant other left it here, Bush never used it, and Barack doesn't need any medication."

Jack, still stinging from being called a burn out replied, "Uh... sure Bo. Do you have an administration device?"

"You bet," Bo said as he dove beneath the finely crafted desk and came up with a Chong medical device between his teeth.

"My God Bo, is that an early Chong medical device?"

"Hey Man, you're in the Oval Office. You don't think we're going to be using cheap Chinese medical devices do you?"

"No, I guess not. So, tell me about this CSS."

Bo sat back on his haunches in the comfortable office chair, reaching for one of the fine imported French dessert biscuits in his sterling, monogrammed dog dish. "The Canine Civil Service has been around since Dad took office, we just haven't made it official yet. Our multifold mission includes many of the functions the FBI, DEA and CIA are currently responsible for, say drug enforcement. Our agents have been on the Mexican border since early 2008, infiltrating drug cartels and urging Griefo, Felipe Calderon's dog, to incite civil unrest between the Mexican government and the cartels. Unfortunately, recent events seem to indicate that all those prime rib and foxy poodle bribes have weakened our ally's resolve to help us."

As Loft listened to Bo, his eyes grew wide before he asked, "Are you running the country Bo?

"No Jack, that's my Dad's job. The American people elected him and I'm just his dog. The First Family loves me and gives me a lot of room to play top dog, but I'm not running the country."

"What else are your agents involved in?"

"Well, as you know, my passion has been to end the barbaric practice known as docking where innocent young pups are robbed of anatomy normal dogs use to communicate with. DAD has expanded its scope to include the aim of eliminating the horrid surgical procedure known as neutering - at least for some breeds."

"What do you mean 'some breeds'?"

"We make an exception for Afghan hounds and beagles. The Afghans are pretty effeminate by nature and prefer being neutered. I think a lot of it has to do with how the Taliban treat dogs. The beagles, on the other hand, have some balls they would like to keep, but we just can't have beagles that are not neutered roaming about in a civil society. In fact, many CSS agents are busy sniffing out noncompliant beagles right now."

(As we publish this portion of Jack Loft's interview with Bo Obama in the Oval Office, Loft is recovering and transcribing the remainder of the interview. MTM offers apologies to her readers, but it took Loft several days to recover from a heavy dose of P3, or Purple Presidential Panacea. During his recovery period at MedLand Manor MedBud Mama gave Jack several doses of navel kief from the finite supply left after the MedTree of Life fell. Thankfully, Loft is feeling much better, although he's way past his deadline - as usual. In a side note, Author, Charles Pellegrino is rumored to have discovered a way to clone navel kief and is working on a novel about a place called 'MedTree Park.' MTM staff are looking forward to the completion and publication of the book, but we're more interested in the possibility of an abundance of navel kief we can lap from the navel of the Magnificent One while she prostrates herself for the good of humanity. Patients who have not experienced the medical miracle made possible by Mama's navel and MedTree kief have not yet experienced what can only be described as enlightenment. The treatment involves an elaborate procedure performed in a holy site, such as MedLand Manor, where Mama lays on her back, baring her navel. Simply touching the exquisite flesh of revered Magnificent One is epiphanic, but licking the holy Kief of Life from the bottom of a goddess's navel brings healing to a whole new plane. Next: the Bo interview concludes.)

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