This is what I need to say: fascism is alive and well here in the land of Tofu, cardigans, and trustafarianism. I'm fed up. Fed up. I've met some of the most interesting people and made some of the greatest friendships I've ever made in my life in the Bay Area, but this one thing drives me mad. It has since I got here four years ago next month and occasionally it raises it's ugly, white, dreadlocked head at me and points it's skinny little hand-rolled cigarette holding bicycle glove wearing finger at ME. That's when I seem to lose it. Michel Foucault called it "liberal fascism" in his works on authority and the misuse of power and he's right. In the South I never saw it. Politics aren't generally a topic of conversation for conversation's sake and liberals, when they do come, come in different packaging with varied opinions. There's a line here, though. You gotta tow it. I'll admit something before I let y'all in on the gruesome details of my "incident": I would NEVER put a Confederate flag on anything if I was still living back home. NEVER. I understand why it offends people absolutely and in a place where it has been used to intimidate and degrade I would never display on any of my property. In fact, I never owned anything with it on it before I got here. Perhaps it's being here that has forced me into using it. I certainly don't want to die a Californian for reasons I've expressed before. I also like being a liberal guy who confuses people. When we sing songs about awful lynchings and it's on my guitar it adds to the moral ambiguity of what we're doing; it makes people think. But lo and behold: the educated liberal masses are just that. Masses. They don't think. They are wagon riders, too. They might as well be fundamentalists as far as I'm concerned. They've made up their minds, or more likely had them made for them, just as middle Americans have. It strikes me as funny and appropriate that Foucault spent much of the 1980's in the Bay Area. It was here, in the bathhouses, that he contracted HIV. It was here too, perhaps, that he witnessed the same absurdity that angers me so much and wrote about it. About a year ago Bob Frank and I, along with our full band, played at 12 Galaxies in The Mission. It's a strange venue: a long hallway of a place. The soundperson's name was Lindsay. I am not using fake names to protect the innocent because there are none here. Lindsay has apparently been doing sound for quite some time. I say apparently because Iam basing that simply on what I was told, not on her skill or ability. She placed a snare mic directly over the drum head where Tim's stick would hit it. Why? We don't know. She couldn't figure out why she was getting no signal from a direct box Bob's acoustic was plugged into. Turns out the DI wasn't plugged into the snake. Whoops. Everything fed back. The sound was mud and there were no monitors to speak of. Bob, during the soundcheck, got off stage and refused to continue. He'd had enough. He may have snapped at Lindsay (though I truly don't remember him doing it). I apologized to her and, as Chuck Prophet had told me to do before, volunteered to help. She was nice enough about it then. We played our set and left. The next day I get word that the booker, Annie Southworth, had told patrons of the bar that I was a racist and that we had yelled at Lindsay for no reason. I was confused. She told them I was a racist because of the flag. Note: I never spoke to Annie; she neither asked me about it or confronted me in any way. I sent her an email the next day tolet her know that I wasn't a racist and to apologize for our perceived behavior and attitude; I thought it would smooth things over. I also sent one to Lindsay saying the same. Since that day I have yet to meet Annie Southworth. She, however, has had ample time to run her fucking mouth about me. No less than 10 times have friends tod me that they have seen her and that, when my name is mentioned, she refers to me as a racist. Recently she has added the accusation of homophobe. Danny Pearson of American Music Club let me know the details of her latest accusations at Chuck's CD release show. The next night, after chewing it over, I sent her an email asking her what gave her the right to call me a racist and, of all things, a homophobe? Here's the chain of emails. I have not tampered with them to make myself look better. I know think I could've written the first one with a bit more, ummm, niceness:

What gives you the right to tell people (i.e. Danny Pearson and others) that it is God's own truth that I am a racist and a homophobe? You told Danny that I yelled at the soundperson at 12 Galaxies, that she is a lesbian, and therefore I am a homophobe??? That makes no sense. First, I never yelled at the soundperson; Bob did. Does that make him a homophobe? I'll have to let him know. Are we only allowed to disagree or get mad at straight people? I didn't even know she was gay, Annie. Does getting mad at people of other sexual orientations denote hatred? Or does it perhaps (maybe?) denote aggravation at their incompetence? Christ, get the fuck over yourself you self righteous bitch. I am no racist either. You walk around telling people shit about me and you and I have never really spoken. I would wait until I got to know someone or at least asked them "are you a racist" before I waltzed around calling them names. You seem like the one who harbors the most hatred between the two of us. I apologized to you months ago and to the soundperson. You are now drawing even bigger conclusions about me. I don't hate people because they're gay or of a different race than me. I politically correct morons like you who run around trying to save the world from the big bad person they've never met. You have a sickening agenda and need to tear people down and debase them without doing it out of what appears to be pure hatred, so you invent reasons why they are "bad" to make it "ok". It's not ok. Go fuck yourself.  John Murry

You guys were shitty behaved period.  The confederate flag on your guitar might have said something,,, NO?  You guys can be a dick to whomever you want and the people affected can draw conclusions, it’s the way it goes.  Maybe you can learn a lesson from this situation that first impressions are difficult to shake.   I never said “you” yelled at the sound girl and were rude... I said your band.  Lindsay said you guys were the shittiest any band had ever treated her in all the years she’d been doing sound, considering how many shows she’s done sound for, that’s bullshit.  For the record, I never throw an unwarranted race card.  Ever.  My gut feeling is that your bands behavior at our club was about lack of respect on the levels I charge.   Plus Lindsay couldn’t be more obviously gay.  Give me a fucking break in other words, cut the bullshit, John.

I’m hardly politically correct,  nor am I trying to save anyone from the world.   Who is drawing conclusions now?  Sickening agenda? Do you know me?  I don’t need to do anything, and I don’t walk around doing or saying anything because honestly I don’t care and I don’t talk about you because I’m busy and yeah, I have much better things to do with my time— I think you are projecting some past experience on me.   No pure hatred involved because that would involved me giving a shit about you or actions you’ve done that appear to be small minded (not to mention short sighted) related.  Hatred?   I don’t care if you are racist, you are 100% entitled to be so.  Just be honest about it.  

Now I find you on top of the earlier assessment to include mentally imbalanced coupled with some of the other shit I’ve heard about you.  How’s that?

annie

You are absurd. I am speaking directly to something you said DIRECTLY to someone else. You told them I was a racist and a homophobe. That is what THEY TOLD ME YOU SAID. Get it? That flag means numerous things to a number of people. Ask Angela Davis or Howard Zinn what the Civil War was about and they won't say "slavery". I would never have it on my guitar in the South, that would not be appropriate for me. What it does do is cause confusion and add to the amorality of the stories when we sing the songs because it forces the listener to make their own judgments. It was not my intention, however, to force the listener to make the snap judgment by looking at my guitar that I am a racist. That was unexpected and take note: you are the only one who's done it and you are far from the only black person who's seen us play. You just never gave us a chance after you saw it; you had already made up your mind: "there's a bigot!". Art is meant to disturb and I'm glad you had some reaction to it, I just wish you had emotionally and mentally dug a little bit deeper than you did.As for me being a homophobe: no one is "obviously" gay to me. That's simple minded, no? I don't make these types of snap judgments that you seem to make based simply on appearance. If Lindsay thinks we were the worst behaved band she's ever worked with then that must have been her third show, because that was some of the most ridiculously bad sound I've ever dealt with. I never insulted Lindsay; not that night or anytime afterwards. If you or she think I did, your memory of the show is warped. Bob got off stage in a huff during the soundcheck and I apologized to her then for his behavior and the next day via email I apologized to the both of you. Why does that slip your mind now? You think that Bob's actions are mine because I was there? That would be presumptious and absurd.You say I am mentally unbalanced and that's probably true. I wonder why you repeatedly say that you are too busy to talk about me but seem to do it so often. You said you had recently found that out. Jesus! I have held my tongue to you every time I've heard that you have said something about me, Annie. When Danny told me you had said this to him two weeks ago I got pissed because it's so absolutely ridiculous for you to be talking about me at all. As you said (though seem not to be), you are "busy". You certainly aren't too busy to run your goddamn mouth. I will repeat what I said earlier: I am not a racist by any means and I am not a homophobe in the least. I could probably name all the other things that you have heard about me and I'd bet that 85% or more of them are true in some way. If I am mentally unstable does that make me a "bad" person? Is that your business? Do any of the other things you have heard about me warrant your judgment of me or give you the right to discuss me to anyone? Absolutely not. Have the decency to confront me if you feel the need to instead of talking about me to anyone. You are right about one thing: that "gut" feeling about respect was about our lack of it. Respect goes both ways. Maybe you weren't taught that. You certainly weren't taught to not talk about other people's business. And, as you said, "for the record": if you've never thrown an unwarranted "race card" then you have when it comes to me. Listen to our record, Annie. We tok a very strong stance on two lynchings, one the NAACP calls the worst in American history and WEB Dubois believed to be one of the most heinous crimes in human history. Bob and I both come from a place where, from a very early age, we were forced to consider these issues ways most Californians never witness them. I believe very strongly in the unequivocally equal rights of all human beings. It angers me greatly that you would patently tell others what you think I am without knowing me at all. Grow up. You are slandering me for the sake of gossip and it is unfair and patently wrong. In addition, your charges against me are false. I know they are false, Annie, because I am me. The other stuff: my mental state, etc., is none of your business. Why do you think it is? Talking about me at all (which we both know you have done) shows that you believe it to be your business. It's beyond me to understand why. My life is terribly imperfect. I imagine yours is, too, just like everyone elses. I haven't wasted my time trying to find out, though, and wouldn't choose to associate with people who would tell me. Read the last line of your email: "How's that?". It's fine, Annie, if what you want to do is gossip about people's lives and screw with their friendships and reputations. It is absolutely wonderful, in fact, if what you are seeking to be is a simple-minded hipster focused solely on yourself and the kicks you get out of it. I'd simply prefer you not do it to me anymore. John Murry

I never said I didn’t say it, John.  It’s my assessment and if you are saying you are not then I guess I’ll believe you.  I didn’t say I hate you because you are a racist, I just said I THOUGHT you were  a racist when your name has come up.  I’ve also said I doubt that you have ample time to correctly and successfully market all the bands whose record you are putting out...guess it’s not as exciting of gossip to call me out on, huh?  

Anyway, I am entitled to my judgement as you are that I am a politically correct hipster (?) and all the other names you’ve called me in the past two emails.  I could really give a shit because what you say to me or any one else does not bother me.  I’m pretty solid (and content) in the type of person I am and the sort of business I do, I don’t personally care if someone asseses me incorrectly...especially if they are wrong.  Why does it bother you so much?  If it was something that bothered you, you might have corrected me if it mattered that (this?) much to you?  Newsflash: confederate flag on the guitar is a bad idea.  It’s offensive to a great number of people for obvious reasons and you likely know it.  Art or not.  If you want to evoke reaction, then you got one for me.  Plain and simple.  Deal with it.  I bring up my shock at your confederate flag and bullshit behavior at 12 G’s when your name comes up, every 6 months or so.  Hardly running my mouth, drama queen...As for my assessement of your mental stability, it is somewhat of concern, especially when you are doing business with someone I also do business with and if they are going to want me to book tour dates eventually when the record comes out, there has to be some dialog/communication between agent and label to be able to market a sucessful tour.  

Anyway, obviously we got off to a bad start and here it continues.  

Basically take some responsibility here dude...you guys fucked up and a fucked up first impression is a mother fuck to shake.  I was going to give you a chance and even invited you guys to a show at 12 G’s in December because I wanted to see where you guys were at and thought it was time to get a second look, plus so many of my friends have said you were putting out there record and doing good things.  

I’m retracting that offer.  Obviously.

annie

To add...you don’t have any idea about my experience with confederate flags and their tie to my personal experiences with racism and not really having everything to do with the south.   I doubt I’m the only one who has been offended, maybe just the more vocal one about it and when you are going to display disregard for the feelings they (could potentially) evoke then you are going to have to deal with those that react unfavorably.  Also, my assessment of your bands behavior came from two shows...the one in December then that Townes tribute that I invited you to participate in last year.  

I will let Jeff Lucas know that he’ll need to find a new booking agent since I cannot imagine a working relationship here...

Annie  

End of emails.............................

So therein lies the brilliance of one Annie Southworth. She's a real peach; a pleasure and a saint. Apparently Lindsay was a lesbian. Who knew? I should be nicer to her, then, or suffer the wrath of the liberal fascist machine. There's a little Hitler in everybody. Some people just let him get bigger and bigger and justify it with moral righteousness. Here's Annie's email: annie@leafygreen.com. You could email her, I guess.......