Go
Search:

AFTERNOON SURPRISE

The images reminded me of the following:
" Excerpts from a Dog's Diary*

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am- A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am- A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm- Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm- Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm- Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm- Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm- Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm- Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm- Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


* Excerpts from a Cat 's Diary*

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now..."

picture picture

REACTIONSAscending | Descending

Friday, 15 February 2008
Hilarious.
dezertdenizen
Wednesday, 05 March 2008
Great! Very funny, very well written. 5 stars!



Bill Moore, dezertdeizen
ZOGTONE
Thursday, 06 March 2008
great stuff davo...the cat reminds me of stewie on family guy! i wonder if my cat thinks like that. this would explain the strategically placed hairballs i keep mistaking for cheetohs.
(1 total)
Login to leave a reaction. Or Sign Up!
SEND TO A FRIEND



Submit
SHARE THIS
COMMUNITY RATING
  • 1 Star
  • 2 Star
  • 3 Star
  • 4 Star
  • 5 Star
MORE BY DAVO
Pure Magic
of the film making type.....jimeye 'send credit sequence for the film blue valentinesee it. ...more
Architect Vs Pumpkin 2010
more carving madness....carv efor a cause fundraiser for architects without borders. ...more
Spider Season
it is spider season in seattle and my house is surrounded....s oi thought i would share. ...more
TAG CLOUD