I probably shouldn't drop psychedelics before I take my Beagle, Rascalesque, for a walk, but it has been a long time since I've done any and I figured it would be a nice change of pace - something of a trip into the past.  As I started coming on to the Psilocybe, Rascal's mischievous brown eyes started smiling at me and I could have sworn there was a smile on his lips too.  When he started talking to me it seemed certain I'd too long living in the digital age, but then I remembered the mushrooms.

"Hey Man!  You remember when you forgot to let me out and you got pissed off when I pissed on the lingerie that ladyboy left in your bedroom?"

"Yeah."

"You thought I was fucking with you then, but that was nothing compared to what's in store for you today."

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Bring it on Beagle Boy."

We live in the city, but I never use a leash to walk Rascal.  He's a pretty good dog most of the time and I never worry about him getting hit by a car as much as I worry about myself when I'm drinking.  In fact, a couple of times he tripped me before harm befell me, like when I nearly walked into the California Aqueduct.  He's a little neurotic since he munched the medbuds I threw on the sofa one day.

Rascal and I walked down by a pond where a group of ducks were alarmed and took off.

"Whoa Man, can you smell where those two ducks were fucking," Rascal said as he sniffed the moist soil beside the pond.  Wait a minute, there's more than one drakes semen here.  Smells like all the drakes were gangbangin' that 'lucky' duck."

"That's nice," I replied.

"Say Man, you remember when you left all the medbud on the sofa and forgot to feed me?"

"Yeah Rascal, I'm sorry, but I only forgot because I was too stoned."

"You know, I was really hungry and then I ate the shit, which made me feel pretty queer and discovered you forgot to fill my water dish too.  You humans are inconsiderate fucks sometimes."

"Look, I said I was sorry!  Didn't I make it up to you when I took you over to get to get laid by that pink poodle?"

"That pretentious, uppity bitch told me I probably had AIDS because I felt queer after eating all that weed.  She made me wear a condom and I couldn't cum.  Thanks alot Man!"

"At least I tried to make it up to you."

Suddenly Rascal raised his nose into the wind and bounded off a couple dozen meters where he began digging furiously in the soft soil on the shore of the pond. I followed as quickly as I could.

"What are you digging for?"

"There's a body under here, I can smell it."

"No way!  Now you're really fucking with me. "

That's when I saw the outline of her face appear as Rascal unearthed it.  I turned away as Rascal kept digging and I began crying.  When I turned around again Rascal had unearthed the partially decomposed remains.  I recognized her immediately as my spouse of many years.  She had been living a couple of miles down the road from me and seldom, if ever, visited the park we were in, knowing I sometimes did,  She lay on her back in the shallow grave Rascal had unearthed, naked from the waist up. Her palm rested between her breasts and she was flipping me off!" 

As I stared at my formerly beloved flipping me off from the grave, Officer Bonestroke of the Metropolitan Community Policing Division's 8th District nonchalantly walked up.  He was off work, out of uniform, seemingly little concerned about the encounter.

"Why'd you do it Evanid?"

"Probably the same reason he forgets to let me out and feed me," Rascal said, flashing a grin.

I stood speechless and confused.  The stench became unbearbale and we all moved away from the makeshift grave as I glanced once more at the woman I once loved.

"I didn't do it", I responded to Bonestroke's question.

Bonestroke replied, "Yeah, I know man."  He was grinning to his big ears, almost laughing.

"You think this is funny," I said, extremely alarmed.

Then Rascal started to laugh at a howl.  Bonestroke said:

"You're trippin' Man."

Suddenly Rascal and I were home again.  He just looked at me with that, literally, shit-eating grin and said, "Told you I was going to fuck with you Man."  That's the last time I did psychedelics, but Rascal still talks to me, often laughing about our walk.