WHY IS OBAMA JUST LIKE BRITNEY AND PARIS?

Is it because he doesn't wear panties? Is it because he made a porn film? Not that exiciting, no, John Mccain's staff say it's because he is little more than a pid media concoction just like the two celebrity/stars mentioned above. I'm glad he wears panties.

NEXT TIME YOU FILL YOUR TANK CONSIDER THIS

Exxon Mobile made a 11.5 billion-dollar profit for the second quarter this year. That’s a forty- percent increase. Of course the dollar doesn’t buy what it used to. Used to you could have bought France for 11.5 Billion dollars and got change. Now you can fill up a motor home for that.

NO, IT DOESN’T START OUT – “A MAN WALKED INTO A BAR…”

Historians have found the oldest joke, and it isn’t John McCain. It seems the Sumarians (when is the last time you saw a good Sumarian restaurant?) not unlike the filmmakers in Hollywood thought fart jokes were pretty funny. The joke from 1900 BC goes; “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial, a young woman did not fart in her husbands lap.” That just cracks me up.

ONE WAY TO END IDLE THREATS

A spurned suitor in South Korea doused himself in gasoline and confronted his ex and her new boyfriend, “If you don’t come back to me I’m going to set myself on fire.” The new boyfriend tossed him a lighter and said, “Go ahead.” The funeral is next week.

VICTORIA’S SECRET

Queen Victoria’s knickers were sold at auction for $9000 to a Canadian. They were crotchless (I swear this is true) size 50. It must get pretty lonely up there in Canada.

Until next time…